Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Blonde Vs Blonde

A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour
residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled
her over.
The female police officer who walked up to the car
also happened to be a blonde.
She asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a
while and finally said to the blonde policewoman,
"What does a driver's license look like?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a
smartass!, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse
again and found a small, rectangular mirror down
at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must
be my driver's license", then handed it to the
blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it
back to the driver and said, "You're free to go.
And, if I had known you were a police officer too,
we could have avoided all of this."

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Made for each other!!

Two newly weds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working
and filed for divorce. The judge asked them what the problem
was. The husband replied, "In the five weeks that we've been
together we haven't been able to agree on a single thing."

The judge asked the wife, "Have you anything to say?"

"It's been *six* weeks your Honor."

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Interested buyer!!

The artist asks the gallery owner, "Has there been any
interest in my paintings?"

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that a
gentleman inquired about your work and asked if it would
appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it
would, he bought all of your paintings."

"That's wonderful!! But what's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor."