Sunday 20 May 2018

The Golf Ball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?" he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?" the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"

The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied. "This special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well, what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back -- no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asked, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"

"No problem," said the other guy. "You see, this ball is fluorescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needed only the one golf ball, the friend asked, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replied, "I found it."

CELEBRITY RESTAURANT

A new celebrity restaurant chain is opening up nationwide. It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.

They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and Sugar"

Sunday 26 June 2016

A priest, a rabbi, a doctor and a lawyer are gathered at a mutual friend's graveside to mourn his passing.

The priest says to the others, "I think our good friend would have liked to take something with him to his next life." He pulls a $100 bill from his wallet and drops it on the casket.

The rabbi agrees, "That's a fine idea," and drops his own $100 bill on the casket.

The doctor, not to be outdone, does the same.

The lawyer murmurs, "What a wonderful thought," as he gazes down at their friend's casket. Whipping out his pen, he quickly writes a check for $400, drops it into the grave and takes the three $100 bills as change.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.