Thursday 29 November 2012

SENIORS DO HAVE GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR

Ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. 


 LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.  

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times. 

 WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy. 

 BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.  

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together. My favorite...

. MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Courtesy: Martha Northrup 

Monday 26 November 2012

The original computer!!!

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
 

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

 A mouse pad was where a mouse lived 

Courtesy : Martha Northrup

Saturday 24 November 2012

DO YOU AGREE





If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~ Will Rogers


Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~ Nikita Khrushchev


When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~ Clarence Darrow


Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~ Author unknown


Politicians are people, who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~
 John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from  the other. ~
 Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~ 
Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
 ~ Tex Guinan

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians
~ Charles de Gaulle

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
 ~ Doug Larson

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Senators.
 ~ Will Rogers