Sunday 3 February 2013

KEEP THEM IN GOOD HUMOR



"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit." 

Women are Angels

And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly . . . usually on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.

      Courtesy: Martha Northrup

Saturday 2 February 2013

HUMOROUS HEADLINES TO EVOKE LAUGHTER

Readers of New York magazine were asked to submit made-up headlines for tabloid newspapers.

Some of the suggestions:

"Dog Missing Since 1940 Returns, Bites Master"
 

"I Found Danny DeVito's Head in a Dumpster"
 

"Satanic Messages in Nintendo Imperil our Youth"
 

"Sky-diving Mom Gives Birth During Free-Fall"
 

"Your Remote Control Could Launch Nuclear Weapons"
 

"Man Held in Shooting Death of Own Siamese Twin"
 

"Cocker Spaniel Shoots Intruder, Calls 911 to Save Master"
 

"Infant Grows Sideburns During Visit to Graceland"
 

"Aliens Reconstruct Berlin Wall"

Friday 1 February 2013

LAUGH AND LEARN HOW TO SAVE

A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. 

His eventual response:

"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give you two dollars. Everybody wins."