Wednesday 31 July 2013

Hilarious observations of life that U will enjoy

  1. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
  2. I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
  3. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  4. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
  5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  6. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  7. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
  8. If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
  9. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  10. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
  11. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
  12. Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

Tuesday 30 July 2013

Enjoy witticism of Oscar Wilde

  • My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
  • The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
  • Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
  • We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
  • There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book.  Books are well written or badly written.
  • But what is the difference between literature and journalism?
    Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.  That is all.
  • America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
  • It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.  People are either charming or tedious.
  • Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
  • Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
  • Who, being loved, is poor?
  • I always pass on good advice.  It is the only thing to do with it.  It is never of any use to oneself.

Monday 29 July 2013

Enjoy the satire

A marketing type managed to corner me at the mall and was asking a series of survey questions:
"Which shaving cream do you use?"

"Baba's." The interviewer dutifully recorded my answer and proceeded with the next question.

"Which aftershave do you use?"

"Baba's."

"Which deodorant do you use?"

"Baba's."

"Which toothpaste do you use?"

"Baba's."

"Which shampoo do you use?"

"Baba's."

"Which soap do you use?"

"Baba's."

"Thank you. I have one final question: tell me please, What is Baba's? Is it a foreign company?"

"No, Baba is my roommate."