Home Sweet Home!

  The members of my wife's bridge club were exchanging stories of
their days camping with their families in the 1950's. Each
related how they remembered the primitive conditions like
gathering wood, pumping well water and carrying it to the
campsite, using an outhouse, and so forth.

Finally one woman asked my wife, who was raised in rural
Montana, if she had ever done any camping.

"Oh, no, we didn't bother," she replied. "We had all those
inconveniences at home."

Confident!

A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology
students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard, and many of
you are off to medical school after the summer. So that none of
you gets your GPA messed up because you might have been
celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to
opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the course."
There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up,
passed by the professor to thank him, and signed off on his offer.
As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the
handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One more student rose and took the offer.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves," he said.
"Each of you gets an 'A.'"

Think deep!

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.
The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."